just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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