did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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