i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
