I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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