My first STD was from a foam party
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize