can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize