It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
