There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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