Cold hands, warm shart.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
