Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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