I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize