I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize