We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
