Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
