My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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