It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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