What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
