you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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