you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
