I can't watch pbs sober anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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