Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
