Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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