Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wanna go halves on a baby?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
