So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
