Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
