Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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