Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
