your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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