I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Let's get the cat blown out
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
