maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
