I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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