So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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