i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
