I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
