What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
