no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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