the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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