We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
