i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize