I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
are you so shy because you have an std?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
