Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
