I heard we made out
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
