I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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