New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
