Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
