i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
