I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
