none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
