i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
