i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
