is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i think i have two assholes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize