I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
