I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
