Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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