i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
