they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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