Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
