i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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