If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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