He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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